Mr. Boop turned two in February, and had never spent the night away from me, until this past Friday. My husband had tickets to go to a concert ( he is a musician and loves music), and his friend that was supposed to go had to cancel. Here we are with 2 tickets to a concert. I like music. The bands weren't my favorite, but back in the day that wouldn't have made any difference I would have gone for my husband no problem. Only now we have the Booper, and I have extreme separation anxiety. Yes, I have the anxiety, not the Booper. I came up with every excuse I could think of not to go. We probably won't find a sitter. It was an outdoor venue, and the weather was going to be bad (it rained, so it was terrible by the way), we can't afford to spend money on a hotel, and the drive back would be too late at night. Oh yeah, I had a number of excuses not to go, and I could justify every single one of them to cover the fact I just didn't want to be away from the Booper over night. We put the tickets up for sale on ebay. Seven days, and not a single bid. Sigh. I was getting really nervous that my husband would bring up me going with him again. At this point he was so frustrated with me, he didn't really want me to go. Three more days on ebay, and the tickets are officially ours, no one else wants them.
I make the call. Asking my mom, will she watch the Booper overnight? Of course, my parents were happy to have the chance to watch our little guy. (My chest felt tight, this was really going to happen.) They had offered before, but you never need someone to watch your child overnight if you never make plans that don't include them. I was good about avoiding plans that meant we were away over night. My life wasn't just about being mommy, I have so many roles to play. I realized it was about being a wife too, and showing my man I was willing to suffer just a little heartache of missing the Boop, so we could be a couple for just one night away. You know what?...I lived. Had fun even...even without my Booper. Who was in good hands. I had a few moments where I missed him, and wanted to call, but it was too late at night. I called in the morning to check on him. He missed us too, but he did fine.
My mom told me she was telling him it was time for bed, and he asked to get his shoes and socks on. He was thinking he was getting ready to go home. Mom tells him, "no you are staying with Mammaw and Pappaw tonight" He held his hands up and asked, "Daddy, all gone?", "Mommy, all gone?" Then he cried for us, but he did go to sleep. When we went to pick him up the next day, he ran to me. I gave him a huge hug, and he immediately wanted down, you can't hold the Booper still for too long.
We both had survived our first night away from each other...and lived to tell about it.~Becky
Do you have separation anxiety now or in the past of being away from your children? How did you cope?
I'd love to hear your stories!
Leaving your baby for the first time is rough! Glad you survived! :~)
ReplyDeleteI totally have separation anxiety! I am horrible! As a matter of fact, none of my kids have EVER stayed the night at their Grandparents houses! My oldest will be 12 this month (he's stayed the night at friends houses a couple of times) and my 9 year old has stayed at the neighbor's once, other than that, they are always with me. Crazy, I know, but I like it that way. I think you are definitely not alone, but it is good to let them go every now and then. I'm having anxiety about my oldest going on an overnight school trip in a week! YIkes!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing that, Mandee. I'm already thinking it will be a long time before I leave him over night again. It was a nice break, but I just like going places, and taking the Booper along for the fun.
DeleteI am glad I am not the only Mommy with separation anxiety. I think it is natural, biological. Sadly in our society some would try and say we are weak or mental or too attached. They I think though are trying to compensate for not having this instinct any more. Maybe they ignored it too long, maybe they had been shamed out of it in the past and are trying to pass that on. Either way, your not alone in feeling separation anxiety and I think it is wonderful you shared it here.
ReplyDeleteI think you are right, it seems to be something a lot of moms try to make you feel strange about. Some moms just don't have the choice, and have to go back to work, my heart breaks for them. One more reason I cherish every moment!
Deleteaww I still hardly leave my guy and hes 3. I have attachment is as much as he does lol
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear it rained on your concert... glad you were able to handle the separation. Who did you go see?
ReplyDeleteWhen I had my daughter I was still attending school. I took 1 week off when she was first born and then I was back to school and work. I felt like I never got to see her but I adjusted quick. I new she was ok because she was at home with her daddy. Eventually I decided to become a stay at home mom when we had our son. I love being a stay at home mom and very seldom am I away from my kids (except my daughter started kindergarten this year). I live 700 miles away from my family so when I get a chance for it to be just the hub and me I tend to jump on it. You have to have those little date nights to keep the spark in your marriage! Glad you survived and had fun!
ReplyDeleteI hate leaving my kids too! No one can take care of them like mom!
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